By: Detri L. McGhee, CLU, ChFC
The rain was blowing sideways, pounding the windows so loudly I feared it would wake my three-month-old son who had finally settled down for his afternoon nap. Kelly, only two and a half, was fascinated by the “loud rain.” I always enjoyed those few minutes with my daughter while Sam slept.
I hurried to catch the phone when it rang, hoping it would not wake little Sam. I listened carefully while my husband told me about his truck problem and asked if I would come pick him up. Now.
The mind is a marvelous thing, and in a few seconds, we can process situations that would take us hours to make others understand. I hoped he wouldn’t hear the disappointment at his request to wake up my baby, and get all of us out in the storm…we had no garage.
As I hung up the phone, my precious little Kelly, with her tiny nose pushing against the windowpane, said with a voice that revealed wonder, joy, and even love, “Mommy, isn’t it a boo-ti-ful day for rain!?!” “Yes, sweety,” I replied. “It is indeed a BOO-ti-ful day for rain!”
In the decades since that moment, I have recalled this whole situation so often when I needed to see the beauty and wonder of what at first felt like a disappointment, or criticism, or failure. Our response to every event of our lives truly IS our CHOICE. And we can cultivate a positive, uplifting, beneficial response, or we can build a negative, depressing, and costly response. We CHOOSE. Whether we consciously do so or not, we do CHOOSE.
Some people are simply born with more positive, sunny dispositions. However, it should be the goal of growing up to develop our natural good personality traits to their fullest, and learn to take our natural weaknesses and focus on building them into strengths that allow us a better life…and certainly bless those who choose to be around us in our daily life.
Unfortunately, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILLS are not an education class we take yearly, like math or reading. So, we are left to develop them on our own, or more often by osmosis from the people we grow up around and those we choose as our friends.
I’m thankful that I ended up in a sales career. There we were constantly learning about personalities and how various words, thoughts, approaches, and facts would affect our clients’ choices and thus our career outcomes. We were highly encouraged to invest in ourselves, both professionally and personally.
For a moment, can we do a little exercise? Write down 10 things that irritated you during the past week. Things that made you frustrated, mad, irritated, dejected, or caused “that word” to fly out of your mouth like it was a regular. Now, write down 10 things that pleased you, causing you to feel and, hopefully, express that joy and gratitude.
Now, pick at least one from each list and imagine how the scenario would change had you CHOSEN to see that event in the opposite way.
Example: Hubby took out the trash. Nice. Thanks. It’s so great to have plenty of room to toss my next handful of trash, and avoid any unpleasant odors, etc. He noticed it was getting near overflowing, and it wasn’t even trash day! Buuuuttttttt…WHY won’t he EVER put a clean liner in the can??? I had my hands FULL of trash, and couldn’t put it where it belongs because HE didn’t put a liner in the #*4%^&# trash can!
Now, tell me, folks…WHO would you rather live with? Spouse #1 – Grateful Greta, or Spouse #2 -Grumbling Gertrude?
Spending time, whether at work or home or outings, with constant complainers, generous grouches, daily downers, or angry attitudes is like living with a loud dripping faucet. Even if the negativity isn’t really directed at you, it is exhausting and difficult to handle without falling prey to picking up the habits ourselves.
So, this evening as I placed the fresh trash bag in the empty can, I deliberately thought of positive comments I could…and should…say to myself. I chose (!) to go one step further and make it a prayer. Thank You, Lord, for a big stash of fresh trash bags! Thank You my husband carried out the trash, without even having to be prompted. Thank You I have an abundance of items that even my trash is plentiful!
Thank You that you sent many “someones” into my life through the years who helped me see how my choices truly are My Choices! And may I remember that I have many, many choices to make during my time on this earth. Many, many Choices. But, may I never forget that I cannot choose the consequences.
Choose wisely. Your choices shape your life and affect the lives of all those with whom you come in contact. A kind word here and there may even save someone’s life…or at least place a smile where tears were creeping up, or perhaps cause their burden to be a little lighter. And, I can assure you that you will likely receive many more pleasant moments, the more you give them out.
By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
April 18, 2025
