By: Detri L. McGhee, CLU, ChFC, B.Min
When pondering the many words of wisdom heard throughout the decades about The Power of ACTION, it was immediately apparent why so many words have been penned on this – from ancient times to today. So, for many, there will be nothing new here. However, sometimes the most helpful words are those that remind us of the deeper things we learned in the past but have not recalled lately yet are exactly what we need now. I hope you see something useful today.
Gaining EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) requires choices, diligence, and work. Work is best accomplished with a plan. But the best plan is worthless without action.
When sharing the three-step C-A-T (system) that tames the Dragon (of criticism) to develop our EI strengths, we find the “T” stands for “Take Action.” We will consider three potential actions used to deal with criticism.
A. Ignore it.
B. Get angry, get even, get ulcers
C. Wisely take fact by fact and…
a. Discard or
b. Use for profit
A. Ignore it. And, yes, this IS an action. Many choose this path. Yet, when I interviewed the more seasoned successful people, not one of them thought this was the best path. With maturity and increased wisdom appears to come the ability to take criticism at face value, analyze it, and use valid criticism as a call to correct, change, or add something to their work and world. I question that we even can actually ignore criticism when it is directed at us. It appears that the more strongly a person tends to ignore all criticism, the more negative they are in other areas, and the stronger their attitude of “Everyone is against me!” Personally, I suspect that deep inside, little if any of it is truly ignored. It merely seeps into our psyche and at some point will resurface as Point B.
B. Get angry, get even, get ulcers. As with all other problems, criticism does not merely evaporate if we refuse to deal with it. It abides somewhere and like poison, it festers until it boils over in negative ways. Get angry? Just remember the first two words of this sentence: “I LOST my temper.” Anyone who learns to control their temper possesses one of the strongest powers on earth! It is a Power worth seeking diligently, consistently, and throughout our life. Get even? This is probably the most personally destructive choice to be made. What we choose to do at the moment of anger or frustration might actually feel really “good” at the time…but seldom does it feel good on hindsight. If something you want to do is NOT something you want to have done, then it is wise to avoid it. This is where learning to ACT rather than REACT is invaluable. You see, the “act” takes but a short time, but what you have done abides forever. Think of your life regrets. Could they have been avoided if you had kept your emotions in check? THAT is the power behind developing mature Emotional Intelligence. Get ulcers. I have heard it said, “There are only two kinds of people in the world: People who get ulcers and people who give ulcers.” There seems to be some truth in that. Neither sounds inviting.
C. Wisely take fact by fact and… (a. Discard or (b. Use for profit. Next visit we will explore this option more fully. I’ll share some When-How-Why ways to truly deal with criticisms from various sources, and examples of the successes and failures of others. ‘Til then, stay cool in the summer of the South!
How is your life moving along?
Detri would love to hear from you! How do you develop your EI? Especially your thoughts on how to handle criticism, worry, fear or problems. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com or Facebook: Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com.
By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
June 20, 2025
