By: Deb Kitchenmaster
Before I talk to you about betrayal, I want to take a moment and thank each of you who responded to last month’s article: Horse Carries Betrayed Wounded Soul Safely Home. I received a text from an Athens Now reader who had just finished reading April’s HORSE WHISPERING telling me that this article was a MUST to copy and reflect on often. Questions that came from this article from another reader were: (1) What is the curtain between our spirit and soul? (2) What might ‘being alive unto righteousness’ look like? And (3) what does ‘excellence of soul’ look like in practical day-to-day living? Great questions! This blesses my writer’s heart with joy!
Let’s take a moment to talk about betrayal. Honestly, I never much thought about betrayal. That is until I became aware of betrayal these past four months. Betrayal can be like a wild roller coaster ride. How is that? Everything you thought you knew and could count on changes. Your world is turned upside down and everything feels uncertain. This is the reason ‘language’ is incredibly important. To be able to put into words, whether by writing (journal) or expressing with kind, caring people what you are going through. Recently, we have heard the word ‘essential’ in describing different levels of employment. I want to tell you it is essential for you to be kind and to healthily care for yourself as you continue onward in the healing process from the wounds of betrayal.
Getting bucked off a horse, falling off a horse, the sensation of losing your balance from a sudden swift jolt are experiences you remember. So it is when you experience betrayal. One of the first things betrayal brings is disbelief. There is a struggle to wrap your mind around the betrayal and to try to make sense out of what just happened! Have you gone through a hall of mirrors at a county/state fair? One moment you see this and then you see that. Each mirror holds an image but the images don’t seem to relate to each other. One mirror says your vote counts; the other mirror says it doesn’t. One mirror says, “We the people, for the people, and by the people” and then another mirror says, “What people?” A word of caution: do not doubt your ability to perceive reality accurately! When mirrors are reflecting mixed messages, double standards, it is common to feel as if you are losing your mind or going crazy to some degree. You’re not; you’re simply desperately looking for some solid ground to stand on in the midst of quicksand.
Allow me to be a voice of encouragement if you will. Please be willing to let go of patterns of thought that don’t serve you well. Yes, it can be scary to leave behind something or someone that felt certain or familiar; however, it is the letting go that opens space for something new to come in. Remember, more often than not a NEW THING can change the course of life in good and surprising ways.
Horses know betrayal also. The horse that has been sent to a horse slaughtering facility experiences betrayal. There are horses that people breed or buy just for a particular purpose (kill buyers or breeders), and they sadly experience betrayal also. We must consider another betrayal that comes to a horse. It’s when the horse has been used until it has outlived its usefulness to the person, and they don’t care about providing another home or providing another option for the horse. It’s all about the money. Racehorses! Depending on their owners and caregivers, each horse has its own lived reality.
The healing process is not fast and cannot be rushed. I hope you will be more like a horse than a human in the way that less is more. In the midst of healing, going slowly gets us there faster in the end. It gives us the space to engage in the experiences that transform us from the inside out. Remember the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person.