By: Detri L McGhee, CLU, ChFC, B.Min
Depression is a sensitive subject and a word that has many degrees of application. Depression can relate to mild emotional sadness, or a more intense sense of loss or hopelessness, all the way to such pessimism, emptiness, or hopelessness that people seriously consider taking their lives to escape the pain and anguish. First of all, let me be very clear. Some types of depression are related to body chemistry and require medical help to offset that problem. It is a wise person who recognizes that and is careful to faithfully adhere to their needed treatments.
It is important to understand that depression is common to all human beings. Everything living is subject to depression. Depression is not a 4-letter word. Clinically, we generally won’t answer “YES” on the medical questionnaire under “depression.” Many tend to be offended if asked, “Could your aches and pains be caused from depression?”
All living things are subject to depression. Have you ever seen a damaged tree? Some limbs die, yet hang on for years. Ever see a starving animal? They are listless from lack of food, but they are also sad and their eyes reflect their hopelessness. They have been hungry for so long, they appear to give up. Only things that cannot feel or react, like rocks, are devoid of the ability to be depressed.
So, why do some people have only short periods of depression, others for months, even years, and some never seem to get over those symptoms for decades?
Emotional Intelligence levels have a lot to do with the ability to cope with and conquer depression. Properly developed EI skills enable us to recognize that we are slipping into that mindset and choose – CHOOSE! Such a POWERFUL LIFE-SKILL! – choose to take the necessary steps to remove that negativity from our lives.
“Oh,” many say, and have taught others to say, “I just can’t help it!” And in very rare cases, that may be true. But, for most of us, (my apologies to those who enjoy pity parties) that is simply not true. Most people, especially those who read articles like this, have plenty of moxie to grab the depression source by the throat and destroy it. The human mind cannot hold two strong thoughts in the forefront of our thinking at the same time. We cannot breathe in and out at the same time. We cannot jump up and squat down at the same time. You cannot fill your mind with depressing, sad, dark, pitiful, hopeless thoughts and at the same time fill it with hope, joy, gratitude, light and praise. You choose. And when you realize that you have been choosing to walk in paths that are leading you where you do not wish to stay, you then have the power, the right, and the obligation to yourself and others to turn around, determine where you DO want to go, who you DO want to be, and how you will get there. Change can be difficult. But it can be the best thing ever for your life.
Are you carrying every situation, thought, desire, and planned action to its logical conclusion mentally before you walk the path so far that you cannot profitably turn back? If not, wouldn’t that be something you might want to begin doing? THAT is an EI skill that is worth practicing.
Sometimes, the quickest way to conquer depression is to simply return to doing the simplest most commonplace things that need to be done in your immediate world. Work? Complete that dreaded task hanging over your head. Home? Clean out that garage/junk drawer/pantry. Student? Complete that neglected lesson/project. Mentally? Get that apology out of the way.
Too often we are waiting for a flash of lightening or have winning lottery ticket. We want bolts of inspiration, or rays of sunshine to suddenly burst through, when all the while, we couldn’t see well because we had sunglasses on or were looking in a dark hole without a flashlight.
See the simple. Learn to laugh again. Express your emotions properly. Identify your ideas. Consider your circumstances as opportunities to conquer, shine, or heal. Think thoughts worthy of your time and life. Define your true desires. Measure them against the expected results. Realign your priorities to fulfill worthy goals. Flee destructive desires. For many of us, conquering depression and negative personalities can be done only by ourselves. You alone are responsible for your choices. No one can demand you obey them. And no one can take your ability to choose unless you give them that right. Start with one common, needed task. Learn to “eat that elephant one bite at a time.” Choose wisely.
Detri would love to hear from you. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com or Facebook: Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com
By: Detri L. McGhee – CLU, ChFC, B.Min
