By: Detri L. McGhee
The daily life of recent weeks has provided me with many opportunities to display my personal level of (or lack thereof!) emotional intelligence. “EI – The ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you.”
The world seems in chaos, and it seems that everyone I know is being hit on multiple levels with some deep, complicated, frustration-filled, fearful, situations. They seem to be coming one after the other, and with no respite between. Physical problems on one hand, spiritual and/or emotional issues on the other – upon ourselves, soon followed by physical problems for those we love and are involved in caring for… just when financial or emotional problems fall heavy upon us, giving no chance to catch our breath before yet another crisis descends.
One cancer diagnosis, followed by another, swiftly followed by a loved one in a wreck, a friend with marital crisis, just after learning that a job has been terminated, and a new debt has been added.
How are we expected to cope?
All this exposes our strengths and our weaknesses. And, now – more than ever – it is crucial that we develop our character, define our goals, eliminate stumbling blocks, and set our minds and hearts toward developing the skills we already have, and obtaining the skills we yet lack, but can have if we are willing to pay the price. The price is not always – or even primarily – paid in money.
Most often, the costliest price of “growing up well” is paid in the soul, the will, and the heart. If you are eager to pay that price, you are indeed a rare being. I have never met anyone who enjoyed being corrected, criticized, confronted, and castigated, no matter what the promised results would be. And yet, I have never seen anyone grow in peace, patience, and maturity without passing through the fires of life to emerge cleansed of the impurities that were interfering with the purity of the soul and the joy of living.
For the third time in my life, I submitted to a personality profile test. Curious to see what I might now look like to others, I answered their many questions as honestly as possible. In all three – spaced almost 50 years apart – my basic temperament/profile/personality remained remarkably the same. But the major changes were in my understanding and application of my natural strengths and weaknesses.
In my early 20s, seeing my strengths and weaknesses in black and white was overwhelming. First, my strengths seemed too good to be true. And my weaknesses felt too overpowering and ugly to accept. Now, both seem like simple facts and guidelines I can use to make my life and myself better for myself and for others.
So, I encourage you to take a little time to see who others think you are! I am NOT compensated by this company I used, and there are many for you to choose from. I mention this one because it was the one I used, and their report was timely, well done, easy to get, and very reasonably priced. They also offer some deeper support if you are interested. If I remember, it was $1.99 up front and $27.88 monthly until cancelled, which I did immediately after printing my report, with no problem. www.mypersonality.net
For an even deeper, more meaningful study in personality strengths and weaknesses, I do not think you can beat the book, Spirit Controlled Temperaments, by Tim LaHaye. My copy was published in 1966, and I have never found a more powerful, useful, life-changing, and easy-to-comprehend and apply teaching on the temperaments of mankind. Other places use other terms, but the truths and the applications of this work earn your investment of time and application.
I hope you are one of the few who are determined to be the best “YOU” that you can be! May you know the joy of never seeking perfection from yourself or others, but demanding excellence from yourself and inspiring excellence in others. I am praying that your emotional intelligence skills are increasing daily, and increasingly blessing you and all those you encounter.
By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
Detri would love to hear from you! How do you develop your EI? Especially your thoughts on how to handle criticism, or problems you would like to get feedback on from others. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com or Facebook: Criticism Management by Detri. Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com
October 18, 2024
