By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
As in Music, so in Life…
Learning to celebrate the differences in people, ideas, places and things will greatly lessen our desire to criticize others. Instead of seeing someone, or something as wrong, or ignorant, or bad, many times we simply need to see them as DIFFERENT.
Different isn’t always bad. Nor is it necessarily in any way flawed.
Wouldn’t Mozart, Bach, Elvis, and Bill Gaither have been frustrated if life offered only one pitch, one tempo, one volume, and one style?
What if the only way to enjoy music was to PLAY an instrument? How sad if the only dance was the Rumba. Tragic if only women between the ages of 45-47 could sing aloud. And yet, sometimes we miss the song, the dance, and the joy of enjoying people and appreciating their differences when we criticize, complain, and grumble about so many things.
Many years ago, there was a woman where I worked who seemed to think she owned the place. She didn’t.) There was quite a bit of gossip about her and her arrogance. (Sad, I now realize. Not so much for her sake, but for those of us who participated. As gossipers, we always lose — a bit of compassion, a bit of grace, and a lot of wisdom.) Anyhow, I thought we had NOTHING in common…and I didn’t want to be around her any more than necessary. However, one day, I found we DID share a common preference and judgmental thought! We both had strong opinions on which way the bathroom tissue should always be set to roll off the holder! She and I both believed it should roll over the top, so the beginning of roll could be easily seen and reached. Then, a rather shy, mostly quiet young lady bravely spoke up. “That might be right, unless you have a cat…or a toddler.” Our breaktime conversation paused. “What?” “Well,” she continued, “haven’t you ever seen a cat or a child completely unroll the tissue in just a few moments?”
Directions: Open EYES now!
This incident brought a wonderful principle to my mind and has helped remind me numerous times that MY WAY is not the ONLY WAY. More than that, should my circumstances change, I might need to apply the ideas of others to my life. Principle: MY way is not only NOT the ONLY way, it may not even be THE BEST WAY.
Another very helpful thing this caused me to see: Life is easier when I assume that people have a reason for what they do, and it is not necessary for me to like, agree with, or understand their reasoning or pass judgment on them, especially when it is none of my business!
Principle: Mind your own business, and stop complaining, grumbling, and criticizing. THERE. I said it! By the way, I was talking to myself. But if the shoe fits, you are welcome to wear it to make your pathway cushier.
Detri would love to hear from you! Especially your thoughts on how to handle criticism, or problems you would like to get feedback on from others. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com or Facebook: Criticism Management by Detri. Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com
By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
December 20, 2024
