By: Detri L McGhee, CLU, ChFC, B.Min
The next visit we will look at more positive ways to handle criticism, but this visit, I must share exciting, expanded thoughts I have learned about the beauty of DIVERSITY. At first glance it didn’t seem to have much to do with Criticism Management or EI, but on reflection… the more we embrace and understand diversity among our fellow humans, the greater our capacity to learn from their ways, avoid their pitfalls, and profit from their life’s lessons and heritage. Our fear of people who are different, in looks, ways, lifestyles, will also become more manageable if we understand and embrace the fact that OUR WAY is not, never has been, and never will be, the perfect way to live, above all others.
Let’s look at four different species of plants and how when they are bundled together and presented as a unified group, they represent the greatness of bundled, diverse groups of people working together, each with their own special contributions and unique challenges brought to the whole unit.
Citron: Bright yellow, it stands out prominently in the bundle. It grows slowly to develop its unique qualities. It strengthens the heart, is a remedy for nausea, is used in food, and can even be used to make perfume. Citron has even been used to soften leather. In some traditions it is compared to the human heart, representing a person with both “taste” (wisdom/knowledge) and “fragrance” (good deeds). Both emerge from a deep and patient process.
Date palm: Rises tall and straight. Every part is useful. Its fruit is eaten, its trunk used for construction, its leaves for weaving, roofing, fire-starting, and cleaning. Tradition likens it to the human spine – a symbol of inner strength, stability, and rootedness. It has no fragrance, but it does have taste in its fruit, and represents people who have wisdom/knowledge, but have yet begun to do good deeds: These are those with a backbone of knowledge still seeking expression
Myrtle: A low, dense green shrub with a gentle and calming scent. It is used to heal wounds, purify spaces, decorate, and add fragrance to windows and doorways. This represents the person who has “fragrance” (good deeds/actions) even while they lack “taste” (wisdom/knowledge). They are a quiet presence of goodness that uplifts its surroundings.
Willow: The simplest of the four, it has neither scent nor flavor, only thin, long leaves, reminiscent of teardrops. It grows beside water. At first it seems to have nothing to offer, yet it too possesses a unique quality – a healing one. Its bark contains nature’s own aspirin. In tradition, the willow symbolizes someone with neither great wisdom nor abundant good deeds, yet remains a part of the community. For even the simple and unseen have their place and great value, even if not immediately recognized.
Each species grows in a unique climate, and carries a different quality, uprightness, fragrance, taste, simplicity, etc. But when they are bound together, they complete the unit.
So it is with us: we are different from one another, and through that diversity, wholeness is achieved. As we embrace this bundle, we connect to one another, to all of creation, and to the world around and above us. One unified group of diversity.
(Many of these thoughts are re-worked words and expressions from a booklet called Bound Together – The Four Species by Avigail Fieldman, produced by Lev Haolam Content Team.)
As I studied this work, so many profound lessons came forth. In business and in family, choose your partners carefully. Look for their strengths and plan for the navigation and understanding of their weaknesses. Give the people in your world time to grow. Don’t expect a date tree to produce lemons. Do not disparage the simple, nor those who seem to have little to offer. They, too, are important. Look for ways to use the assets you already have and stop complaining about what you think you lack. Maybe what you need is right before you, and you will not see it if an easy alternative drops from the sky. Take time to bundle your blessings, wave them publicly around the four corners of your world, and be thankful for the things you have – and the things you don’t have. Do not think too much nor too little OF yourself; however, thinking OF yourself less, and more of others, leads to greater happiness and peace.
Embrace DIVERSITY! Imagine how sad the world would be if there were only one species of bird, one piano note, one musical instrument, one color, one flavor, one texture, one cloth, one expression, one sex, one career, one culture, one kind animal. Diversity is a beautiful word, full of thoughts, colors, ideas, looks, feelings… ENJOY the diverse and beautiful world around us! And please, let us all stop being so critical, judgmental, unkind, and arrogant. THIS would be a great first step in developing an excellent, high Emotional Intelligence Quotient! Stay warm as winter rages.
By: Detri L. McGhee – CLU, ChFC, B.Min
