All Things Soldier: “G.I. Jaw” Is For Real

By: Ali Elizabeth Turner

“Well don’t that take all,” as the saying goes. Just when you think things could not get stranger, there is a plastic surgery procedure that is becoming popular among men that is called “G.I. Jaw,” and its creator, Dr. Philip Miller says that “G.I. Jaw is a classic look that is considered one of the hallmarks of masculinity. It’s called the ‘G.I. Jaw’ because the appearance is associated with tough, brave soldiers.”

Ummm, I have several questions, but here is one if you are active duty. If you go under the knife in order to look more like you could put the enemy under the knife, and war breaks out, you have a responsibility to meet the requirements for readiness. So, if you are still beat up after allowing a doctor to beat up your face and put things under your skin so that you look like you could beat anybody up, could you be court martialed if you are still recovering from your elective surgery and can’t report to the front? Apparently, it costs between $6,500 and $56,000 to get a G.I. Jaw, and insurance doesn’t cover it; so you are on your own.

Dr. Miller says further, “Traditionally and biologically, a strong jawline has always been advantageous in attracting members of the opposite sex for mating purposes,” the description continues. “Men with this type of look typically have higher levels of testosterone.”

At the risk of sounding completely self-centered, if I am in a position that demands that I be protected by a soldier or soldiers, I don’t want him to look like he has a high level of testosterone, I want him to have enough testosterone to get the job done, whatever that may be.

What if you were born female, joined the Army as a woman, decided to undergo gender reassignment surgery and “become” a man while you are in the service and feel the need to look like you are G.I. Joe. Could it be argued that it would be necessary to have the G.I. Jaw tossed in as part of package in order for the whole procedure be more affirming? I am jesting…sort of… but these days, sadly, I could see it happening.

Oddly, one of the things that has increased the number of plastic surgery procedures in our culture was the COVID-19 pandemic. Members of Gen-Z, who seem to get their self-worth from TikTok (which, it has been strongly alleged, was developed by our enemies, the Chinese to do a number on our minds) have said that they would go under the knife for all manner of reasons. According to Military Times, 37% say that they would have an elective procedure because of their social media popularity.

This makes me mad, it makes me sad, and it makes me laugh in horror. I don’t care what your jaw looks like if you are going to go into harm’s way to keep me safe; I will give you the honor you deserve. And, if you want to pay for it yourself, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t expect me to believe that implants make you indomitable on the battlefield. That quality, soldier, only comes from within, and you can’t have it installed.

By: Ali Elizabeth Turner