By: Carissa Lovvorn
I stared blankly at the computer located in the waiting room of our fertility specialist. “That is ironic,” I thought to myself, as I noticed the date on the bottom of the screen. There I sat, on October 1, waiting to discuss the doctor’s findings after my most recent loss. Until last year, like many people, I had no idea that October was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Now, I am acutely aware of it. I am not just part of the 1 in 4 women who have experienced a miscarriage, I am part of the 1% of women who have experienced recurrent miscarriages.
While pregnancy and infant loss is a common occurrence, women, including myself, feel ashamed and alone during their struggle. Our society tends to overlook the emotional impact of these losses for reasons such as the topic is uncomfortable in nature, the loss did not affect them personally because they never met the child, and simply, people do not know what to say. Throughout this month, individuals and groups strive to educate, provide support, and break the stigma that goes along with stillbirth, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, SIDS, or any other reason that a precious life ends too soon.
I would like to offer some suggestions to those who would like to support a family who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Pray for peace and understanding for the bereaved family. This type of grief is difficult to understand and navigate. Pray for the mother’s physical health, as there are many complications that can arise from the loss and healing takes time. Share your story if you have experienced something similar. As much as we don’t want anyone else to feel the pain we have endured, it is nice to talk to someone who is familiar with the struggle. Offer a hug or a listening ear without judgement or advice. Each loss is personal and distinct. It is not a problem where one solution will fit everyone’s situation. Consider sponsoring a miscarriage care package. For example, Through the Seasons women’s ministry provides packages that include a book, two bath steamers, a gift card, and a birthstone necklace in honor of the baby’s due date. Or one can simply give flowers, a card, or take the family a meal. A small gesture of kindness goes a long way.
Though I am not sure how my motherhood journey ends, I will continue to praise our Heavenly Father. For those women who are moving into the storm, are in the middle of the storm, or just coming out of the storm, I will be praying. You are not alone. Though sometimes we may not feel it, God is good and with us through it all.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. (Psalm 34:18-19 NKJV)
Many blessings,
Carissa Lovvorn
If you would like to send a miscarriage care package, please visit www.throughtheseasons.org
October 18, 2024
