By far, this has been the hardest part of 1 Corinthians 13 to write about. My toes are sore, and my pride is bruised, no pun intended. I’ve known for a long time that one of my biggest struggles is pride. Not in the puffed-up, boasting sort of pride, but in the too-proud-to-ask-someone-for-help pride.
Maybe it is a trait of being the first born, maybe it is a trait of being female, maybe it is just a fatal flaw, but I suffer with being too prideful to ask for help. There have been times in my life that I have been struggling physically, emotionally, financially, but I was too worried about what someone would think if I asked for help. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. I was supposed to be strong. I was not supposed to fail. I am the person that other people come to for help; I don’t ask for help.
Pride is a funny thing. You should be proud of your accomplishments in life. You should be proud of your children, proud of your spouse, proud of yourself. But too much pride will cause you to be lonely and just sad, and no one wants to be lonely and sad.
This article is causing me to step out of my warm cozy blanket of pride and step into the uncomfortable vulnerability of telling you that I am someone who needs help. I am someone who doesn’t have it all together. When I leave the house, my makeup is always on, my hair is brushed, my clothes are clean, and I try to keep up with what is fashionable. I put on jewelry, I carry a nice handbag…the outside picture of my life looks all nice and wrapped up with a bow. Most days, I am able to navigate the world without feeling as if I am about to fall on my face. But there are days that right under the surface of my curled eyelashes and gold earrings is a girl that is falling apart. Her pride doesn’t allow her to reach out and say, “Help me.” She just raises her head high while she is secretly weeping inside. That need to keep up a certain appearance can be my ultimate downfall and never allow true love to be part of my life.
Today, as I nervously write this article, imagining that you reading this are judging me for not being perfect, I am deciding to ask for help. When I have seen someone else ask for help, I have never thought of them as a weak and imperfect person. I have viewed them as strong and envied them at the same time. My husband is the one person in my life that sees through my tough exterior. He can always tell when I am struggling and helps without me having to ask. I am so thankful for his constant support.
Not asking for help is not a Biblical concept. The Bible is full of examples of people that asked for help and the Lord helped them and provided them comfort. No where does it say the people around them all cast judgement and thought less of them because they sought out help. God did not design us to be “island people.” We were designed to be part of a community, to be there for each other, and to asked each other for help. From the very beginning, God knew that we would need each other. In Genesis 2, God created woman because, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Asking for help is also a commandment for Christians. In Galatians 6:2 the Scripture says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” The beauty of being part of the body of Christ is that there is always someone able to provide help. All of us have different talents and strengths. In 1 Corinthians 12:12 it describes how the church is to function, “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.” We are designed as Christians to provide support for each other.
God wants us to turn to him for help. He is our father and desires that we bring him everything troubling our hearts. In asking for help, we can show others the grace of God. Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” God’s power of healing is made perfect by us asking for help. The world around us tells us that asking for help is weakness, it is just the opposite! Asking for help is strength because it gives glory to the ultimate helper — God.
I will no longer be so prideful. I will ask God for help. I will ask my fellow Christians for help. In my seeking help, I will show the world that God’s grace is enough for me, and I will bring Glory to Him. So, here I am, asking you, to help me be vulnerable and ask for help when I need help.
This week’s recipe is fancy Chicken Florentine. Even the name sounds fancy! It’s the perfect dish to serve your family for super or for a dinner party. I sure hope you enjoy this delicious classic.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19