By: D. A. Slinkard
It is hard to believe this year is almost over – in fact, just five more articles after this one and the year will be over. This got me to thinking about certain times, and seasons, and this led me to thinking about different words. When we hear the word “leader,” we often picture someone with a title. We think about the boss, the manager, the supervisor, the coach, the pastor, the teacher – sometimes we think about the person whose name is on the office door. However, over the years, I have learned something important and it is that you do not need a title to have influence.
I spent years in management, and one thing I learned is that a title may give you authority, but it doesn’t automatically give you influence. A company can put “Manager” underneath your name and require employees to follow your instructions, but a title cannot make those employees respect you. Respect has to be earned, yet many times people try to bully their way into respect.
There is a tremendous difference between someone doing what you say because they have to and someone listening to what you say because they trust who you are. The same thing is true outside the workplace. You may never run a company. You may never supervise a single employee. However, we need to remember that somebody is watching you.
Your children are watching. Your coworkers are watching. Your friends are watching. Your neighbors are watching. People notice how you handle pressure. They notice whether you keep your word and how you treat people who cannot do anything for you. They notice whether you work hard when the boss is watching—and when the boss is gone.
Whether we realize it or not, our lives are constantly teaching people something about us. That is why influence begins with example. It is easy to tell other people what they ought to do. It is much harder to consistently demonstrate it. Our talk talks, and our walk walks, but our walk talks louder than our talk talks.
If you want people around you to work hard, work hard. If you want people to be dependable, be dependable. If you want people to have a good attitude, have a good attitude. If you want people to admit when they are wrong, be willing to say, “I was wrong.”
If you want people to treat others with respect, let them see you treating people with respect. There is an old saying, “Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying.” There is a lot of truth in that. People may forget the advice you gave them, but they will remember the example you gave them. It simply comes down to the idea that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.
I also believe influence is built in the little things. We sometimes imagine that making a difference requires doing something enormous. Usually it doesn’t. It may be showing up when you said you would. It may be encouraging somebody who is having a difficult day. It may be doing a job correctly when cutting corners would be easier. It may be staying calm when everyone else is upset. It may be taking responsibility instead of making excuses. It may simply be being the person others know they can count on.
None of those things require a title. They require character, and character has a way of creating influence. Think about the people who have influenced your own life. Chances are, many of them did not influence you because of the position they held. They influenced you because of the person they were.
There is another side of influence that we should remember: you don’t get to decide whether you influence people. You only get to decide what kind of influence you will be. We are all leaving an impression. A negative attitude influences a workplace. Constant complaining influences a family. Cutting corners influences coworkers. Gossip influences friendships, and we cannot forget the opposite is also true.
Integrity influences people. Kindness influences people. Consistency influences people. Hard work influences people. Faithfulness influences people. Sometimes one person’s attitude can change the atmosphere of an entire room. So instead of asking, “What position do I have?” perhaps we should ask, “What kind of influence am I having?” We cannot forget that we are influencing those around us; either for the good or for the bad.
By: D. A. Slinkard
D.A. Slinkard would love your feedback. You can contact him at da.slinkard@gmail.com
