By: Detri L McGhee, CLU, ChFC, B.Min
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is about developing the smartest, most beneficial ways to live life to its fullest. It’s about controlling what we CAN control and responding appropriately to those things we CANNOT control: Responding in ways that benefit us best.
Have you ever found yourself frustrated with EVERYTHING?
Oh, not the regular irritations of trying to get a real person on the line to fix a problem or getting a rock out of your sandal when you simply can’t stop walking. I mean when you looked at people around you and thought “How in the WORLD can they be so oblivious of all their blessings???”
The more I pour gratitude into my life and heart, the more frustrated I get with myself when I start to complain. And, frankly, the harder it is for me to be around ungrateful, complaining, negative, fussy, judgmental folks. Then, I have to remind myself that I may be being judgmental of THEM! (Oops!)
No matter who you know, how well you think you know them, or how long you have known them, none of us truly knows the deepest, darkest, or most hidden parts of anyone else. Before you disagree with me, let me go one step further. You don’t even really know what you, yourself are capable of. If you disagree with that, you are either very young, very sheltered, or deceiving yourself. Well, that is my opinion, and you are free to totally disagree. Isn’t that good news!
There is so much more I would like to say about ingratitude, but time doesn’t allow. Let me just share this: Choices are important. Finding out who you are, and deciding who you want to be and how to get there is YOUR choice, providing you have the tools to make proper choices. But the one thing I want to emphasize today is this: There are things that you cannot control, and things that you can control. Wasting time, energy, resources, and attitudes on things you cannot control is futile and unwise.
Choose to focus on things you CAN control and focus on addressing them with wisdom and excellence. Rebuke things you cannot control, things that try to take your focus off the truly important things that you can work on.
You CANNOT control other people’s attitudes, how other people feel, outcomes, the weather, other’s opinions, the past, the news, God’s timing, or other people’s words.
You CAN control your attitude, how you spend your time, your words, how you respond to others, your actions and reactions, and, yes, even your thoughts!
You CANNOT change other people.
You CAN change yourself.
You CANNOT make others accept your spiritual choices, but you CAN choose to follow the Lord God Who created you and gives to everyone who will receive His gifts the power and right and ability to become a child of God with all the God-given blessings that He provides. God Himself gives you the right to love Him or reject Him. But the CONSEQUENCES are set in stone and are NOT yours to choose.
If you have chosen Life in God through Jesus Christ, please let me encourage you to decide to refine or become a person of praise and joy and gratitude. Cast all grumbling, fussing, worthless talking aside and live fully in a life of praise and thanksgiving. This is the highest and best use of emotional intelligence available here on earth.
Detri would love to hear from you. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com Facebook: Detri Atkinson McGhee
Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com
By: Detri McGhee – CLU, ChFC
