By: Detri L. McGhee
Choices. We all have so many to make in this world. Sometimes – like me with my parents — it is often to our benefit that we don’t know what some of the possible choices are! We never heard of them. Never knew they were available.
EI (Emotional Intelligence) growth is optional, involves choices, costs much, and returns exponentially. What facet of EI are you working on now?
As a small child, I had no idea that it was possible to deliberately disobey my parents.
I was never beaten, belittled, mistreated, nor did I ever feel unloved. Sure, I had scrapes and scratches because I was a little farm girl until age 7. I had two older brothers and all I ever remember was them looking after me. Well, except for the time they put me on a bicycle and pushed me down a steep, bumpy gravel hill so I could finally stay on the bike. I did, too! I made it to the bottom of the big hill, screaming all the way, frozen to the bike, and coasted to a near-stop before I fell gently over. I loved my bike.
But, never in my wildest dreams did I consider that I had the option of disobeying my parents. There was something about the way they led me that made me feel safe. They led with authority in such a way that I instinctively knew they were leading me for MY benefit. As I got older, I made many more decisions myself. What to wear or to eat, where to go, who to spend time with – these were all choices I gradually gained freedom to make for myself. And, I was allowed to have a childhood because there were things many of my friends were experiencing that I had absolutely no idea existed in the world… because they didn’t exist in my world. How eternally grateful I am for the childhood I experienced.
However, as we mature, and develop our God-given personalities to become the best “ME” that we can be, we find there are other opportunities (choices) that we would be wise to uncover. Growing to a more balanced person emotionally, developing a higher EI (Emotional Intelligence) becomes a goal worthy of work, dedication, and focus.
It is well worth the cost to invest time, money, emotions, and relationships in the pursuit of understanding and maturing our emotions and the emotions and relationships with those we love. It isn’t easy to be totally honest with ourselves. It isn’t fun to find out we have been wrong, or uninformed, unaware, or even downright selfish. All of us want to be right, appreciated, loved, and looked at with perhaps a touch of admiration. But maturity doesn’t come apart from growing pains. It is time we learn for ourselves and teach others that life is a challenging work, and “the sooner we put our shoulder to the grindstone, the sharper our blade will become!” No one ever attains success without passing through much failure, difficulty, trials, and suffering.
Oh, yes, I just remembered: There was that time that my curious brother talked me into following him as our older, more cautious brother warned us to stay away from the bees swarming on the ground. One brother was bee-sting free. The other one ran even faster than I could.
Oh, and there’s the time they talked me into asking Mother what that funny 4-letter word meant. (I don’t think she ever told me…) And, the time they sent me into the house to get the matches so we could start our bonfire.
And, THEN the time they laughed at me when we were playing chase, and I slipped in the pile of horse dung. (I wonder if they led me that direction.) Memories are flooding back now!
But, I digress… Back to EI for just a final moment. I leave you today with one thought to ponder. (I LOVE that word: ponder. PONDER. Ponder. Any way you say it is thought-provoking!)
PONDER: WHO really controls you? Your words? Your thoughts? Your attitudes? Your desires? Your choices? You? Or your temper, friends, bad habits, pet peeves, past failures, selfish desires? “Them” or You??? WHO really controls you? Hopefully, God enters into this equation heavily. It is your choice. Choose wisely. Today’s choices determine much of tomorrow’s life.
Detri would love to hear from you. Send your comebacks to: Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com Facebook: Detri Atkinson McGhee. www.criticismmanagement.com
By: Detri L. McGhee – CLU, ChFC, B.Min
