By: Detri L McGhee, CLU, ChFC, B.Min
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Explore EI – That wonderful exercise and experience of the mind that brings joy, peace, challenge, and a sense of personal control to life that is not available otherwise. First…I hope you will “think” a few minutes with me.
CHOICE. Choice & Consequence. Choice & Responsibility. My Responsibility for MY Choices. My Responsibility for YOUR Choices. Your Responsibility for MY Choices.
Where your own emotional intelligence quotient is concerned, you have a choice to leave it as is or choose to grow exponentially in maturity – and take with that growth a new perspective on your own life and the lives of others around you. The choices you make today affect every day of your future.
“Today’s energy depends on yesterday’s expenditure,” so they told my mom. As with the body, so with the mind, heart, and soul. Today, you and I will either build or tear down our bodies, minds, hearts and souls. My choice. Your choice.
Before we can develop maximum wisdom on EI Through Criticism Management (That is, after all, my pet project!), we need clarity on the power and responsibility of CHOICE. All too many people are never taught to take responsibility for their attitudes, actions, and thoughts, and thus their words and deeds are also loosely strewn about, carelessly, and with no awareness of the pain, hurt, and harm they are inflicting on those around them.
We don’t have room here for a complete course on “CHOICE” — but a few undergirding truths will take the wise reader far. As you ponder these points, your already sharp mind will expand and expound in exciting ways as you see how thinking on these things throughout the day gives you clarity, and ways to use these points that apply to a myriad of life’s scenarios.
- I can choose. In most everything, time, and place of life… I can choose.
- I can often choose for others.
- You can choose.
- Your choices sometimes affect me.
- Some choices cannot be undone.
- Some choices can be changed.
- Some choices have effects no one could foresee.
- Some choices affect my life very little.
- Some choices change the whole course of my life.
- I have the power to CHOOSE how your choices will ultimately affect me.
- I am responsible for my choices.
- You are responsible for your choices.
- I am responsible for how I let your choices affect my life.
- You cannot control my choices unless I give you permission.
- My choices might be opposite of your choices, yet both can be right or wrong
- I can choose, but I cannot choose the consequences.
See where we are headed here? Personal accountability is required if anyone wants to grow in EI – Emotional Intelligence. As long as we carry a victim mentality, our emotions are immature. The simple, plain truth is, you have a choice as to whether you pay the price to learn and apply some growth principles and become a better person for yourself and everyone else in your life.
Consider: Are you the one in your family/career/world who gets ulcers, or the one who gives them? Have you ever said, “That’s just the way I am, so deal with it!”? Do you state that you are “Just being honest!” as a way to be thoughtless and unkind in your words and deeds so that your rudeness appears to be their fault?
Are you willing to ask yourself some tough questions in order to grow in your own personal emotional intelligence, and possibly help others at the same time?
Even the Bible tells us to judge ourselves so we will not be judged by others (I Cor. 11:31). So, it makes sense to me to assess (judge) my current situation, see where I can grow, and get the nourishment that feeds that process, take it in, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I hope you will join me. It is a constant growth opportunity for me, and I think it will benefit all who choose to partake. Hope to see you again soon!
PRINCIPLE: You can CHOOSE: But you cannot always choose the CONSEQUENCES.
By: Detri L. McGhee – CLU, ChFC, B.Min
