By: Carissa Lovvorn
This weekend marks a significant milestone in my life: my twentieth high school class reunion—yes, I am showing my age here. I often look back on those years and laugh at some of my choices, especially my appearance. Baggy cargo pants, black band t-shirts, blue jeans, and vintage-looking heels were my everyday staples. And that hair—super long, straight, and blonde! While my style may have been comical, my emotional state was not. Drawn to a rebellious lifestyle, I became entangled with a group outside of school and eventually found myself in an abusive relationship.
Given my unique situation of splitting each school year between two different grades after dropping out my freshman year, I never truly found a place among my peers. At my ten-year reunion, embarrassment and regret seemed to lurk around every corner. Although I enjoyed reconnecting with classmates, I felt insecure. I didn’t like the ‘old’ me they remembered, and I wasn’t entirely sure about the ‘me’ standing before them that night.
This weekend feels like it will be different—not just another reunion, but a chance to celebrate how far I’ve come. My renewed sense of self-worth comes partly with age and experience, but mostly through my relationship with our Heavenly Father. On July 26, 2015, I made the choice to rededicate my life to the Lord. That day, a deep sense of urgency came over me when I felt His calling. I practically tripped over my husband in my rush to leave the pew and reach the altar. I could no longer carry the crushing weight of shame and guilt. I needed to surrender it all to receive the Lord’s forgiveness and the strength that only He can provide.
It’s by the grace of God that my sins have been cast as far as the East is from the West, and He has made me new. Apostle Paul described this undeniable change in his letter to the church members in Corinth: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV). Much like the spiritual restoration Ezekiel describes, I’ve discovered that I am not only renewed, but my spirit now carries a clear sense of purpose: “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you…” (Ezekiel 36:26).
Now, looking ahead to this weekend, I plan to leave the cargo pants and band T-shirt in the closet. To be completely honest, though, I’ll probably wear my hair exactly as it was in high school. In that sense, I haven’t changed much. Still, I’m confident I can walk into this reunion with gratitude and peace rather than regret and insecurity. While I’m grateful to have left my teenage rebellion behind, I treasure most that my Heavenly Father writes His ways on my heart and guides every step I take. Trust me—He can and will do the same for anyone who seeks Him.
Many Blessings,
Carissa Lovvorn
