By: Detri L McGhee
A massive power behind the development of high levels of Emotional Intelligence is the ability to wisely handle both Fear and Joy. One day we will look at Fear. But, for the next few sessions, we will look at the Power, Promise, Potential, and Profit of JOY.
Suppose someone cuts you off in traffic, nearly causing a collision. Most of us get an immediate flood of fear and anger at how foolish and dangerously that idiot acted. For some, the anger rises and rises, ruining many hours of the day, only to re-surface each time during the day – and longer – as we relive the incident to anyone who will listen. Would you like a simple, nearly foolproof way of getting your mind off that irritating event? You might want to take notes on this, for it is near GENIOUS! Okay, ready? All you need is a hammer. Place your hand on a hard, clean surface. Take a hammer and firmly and forcefully slam it down on one of your fingers. MAGICALLY, you will no longer be aware of the driving incident! Perhaps forever, or at least for the rest of the day, you will not even THINK of the ignorant, reckless driver!
Would you prefer an easier, less painful way to take away the power of anger and fear to ruin even more of your life? Replace the negative with positive. Instead of fear caused by a near collision, try gratitude. Be grateful that it DID NOT result in a wreck or damage. Instead of anger, think of the time YOU did not see that car in the side mirror and almost caused the wreck yourself. Be filled with gratitude that YOU didn’t cause a wreck. Extend the same grace to your fellow human. You are not necessarily all those things you said about THAT driver, are you? Probably, neither are they. You were not hurt by either your own or another person’s carelessness. Instead of sharing your anger/fear/frustrations with family or a co-worker, when you see them, think of something uplifting to share, or a compliment to give. Refuse to seek the limelight of retelling your story, because, honestly, YOU are probably the only one interested.
Every time we re-live a negative or upsetting incident, we choose – yes, CHOOSE, because you have a choice whether or not to keep re-kindling the flames of anger, frustration, and fear – we choose to let that negativity not only steal a significant portion of our life, but we often hold hostage another person’s peace of mind and disturb their spirits.
JOY and her friends, Gratitude, Praise, Positivity, Happiness, etc. make much better daily companions than her enemies, grumbling, griping, gossip, fear, negativity, etc. Joy seeks to bless and heal. Fear and complaining seek to destroy and cause harm. Which are you embracing by the choices you make daily? What we embrace, tends to sink into our hearts and be reflected on our face and in our actions.
An important observation: JOY and HAPPINESS are not the same thing. Joy abides. Happiness happens. Joy is present even in the midst of great pain and grief. Happiness depends on circumstances. Joy survives into eternity. Happiness fades in a moment. Joy infuses the whole of a person. Happiness survives on the surface. JOY comes from the heart and soul and spirit. Happiness depends on circumstances. JOY can survive alone. Happiness usually depends on others to feed it. I pray you and I will be Emotionally Intelligent and choose Joy and Positivity, Praise and Gratitude.
Our next time together, we are going to look at The Exponential Power of Vicarious Joy. I hope you will join us.
By: Detri L McGhee, CLU, ChFC
Detri would love to hear from you! Especially your thoughts on how to handle criticism, or problems you would like to get feedback on from others. Email: detrimcghee@gmail.com or Facebook: Criticism Management by Detri. Free outline for Criticism Management available at www.criticismmanagement.com
September 6, 2024
